


Love you just as much

by saeranhae



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Idk I clearly have a thing for kisses despite not liking smut lol, Kissing, Love, Love Confessions, One Shot, POV Second Person, Romantic Fluff, Sad, Self-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-24
Updated: 2019-07-24
Packaged: 2020-07-12 12:16:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19946020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saeranhae/pseuds/saeranhae
Summary: An alternative to the events of the story mode at the end of the 9th day in Saeran's route (so obviously, spoiler warning for Another Story--Ray's route). A little less dark and depresso and more kissy kissy lmao





	Love you just as much

**Author's Note:**

> The dialogue is just kind of a summary from memory of the actual game conversation. I intended the same conversation to still take place, but didn't want to quote it word for word from the game nor just add something like [insert game conversation here] ya know? The main important part was just the kissing mostly XD Enjoy!

You’re lying in bed trying to sleep--something that doesn’t come easy to you in this place. For the past two days you’ve been tormented by a man with the body and face of your dear Ray, yet they are nothing alike in personality. Though he is cruel to you, you understand he has been horribly manipulated and abused, not to mention drugged, enough to the point that he developed what appears to be a dissociative identity disorder. This is not the same man you fell in love with. Somehow, you can’t help but pity him...but that doesn’t mean you aren’t afraid when he makes violent advances on you. His visits are not exactly celebrated by you.

You hear footsteps outside in the hall approaching your bedroom door, then silence, like someone hesitating just outside. You realize regrettably too late you forgot to secure the lock as you hear the knob turn and the door creak softly, allowing soft light from the hall to enter for a moment, and then close shut. You keep your head down, but you’re sure it’s Saeran, here to torture you again. You pretend to be asleep—maybe he’ll leave you alone if you don’t acknowledge him.

With your eyes shut tight, you focus on your hearing to locate him in your room. He hasn’t moved away from the door yet. Why is he so hesitant? What is he planning to do? You bite your tongue and try to keep your breathing slow and even, despite a growing anxiety buzzing in your mind and quickening your heartbeat.

Finally you hear soft, slow footsteps walking around the left side of the room, by the windows. The footsteps eventually find themselves at the side of the bed. Another hesitation, and then the rustle of covers as a pressure weighs down on the mattress. Your heart is pounding, but still you pretend to sleep. You can feel his presence very close to your body and stiffen up, expecting his touch. Maybe he’ll go away. Maybe he’ll get bored and leave. Maybe he’ll have mercy for once. Maybe...

“I know you’re awake.” His voice was low and devoid of any discernible emotion. Despite his soft tone, you couldn’t help but flinch. Your heart beats even faster and you do a poor job of keeping your breathing slow too. He spoke again. “Don’t fake it. You can open your eyes.”

After a moment, you slowly lift your eyelids and take in the sight before you. Saeran is lying beside you under the covers, barely a foot away from your body, his head resting on the pillow next to yours. His black suit is crumpled slightly with his relaxed posture, the collar chain still swaying from his movement to get under the covers. His mint green eyes are open, staring somberly into your own. The moonlight shining through the window behind him illuminates his silver and pink hair, and though his face is in shadow, you can clearly see his normally piercing, manic eyes appearing softer than you’ve seen since...since he was Ray.

Unsure what would happen if you dared to move, you lie there in silence staring into each other’s eyes. A few moments stretch longer than days as they pass in your fearful impatience. You wait for him to do something, yet wonder why his expression holds none of his typical hostility or cockiness. He seems different. To your surprise, he blinks and his gaze softens slightly. His eyes look...sad, yet calm. This is the most peaceful you’ve ever seen him look. For some reason, instead of growing more uneasy, seeing him like this makes you more curious than afraid. You find yourself relaxing, to your own surprise. You have no sense of danger—he feels...harmless like this.

He finally speaks. “I frightened you, didn’t I? ...I’m sorry.”

An apology?

“I know what you’re thinking. I know how I’ve treated you. But...you didn’t deserve it. And...I will no longer torture you. You can be sure of that.” With the word “torture”, his gaze drops from your eyes, as if from shame.

He shifted onto his back, staring up at the dark ceiling. “It was...never really about you...though I think you knew that. As much as I hurt you, you never turned against me. You never blamed me. You stayed calm. You spoke words that stabbed into my heart and put together pieces in my mind that I didn’t know were separated. I understand now. I understand how messy my thoughts are, and I understand what this place has done to me...what it’s done to me...and what it made me do to you.” His brow furrows and his eyes shut tight. You can feel his entire body tense and curl up slightly. “I can’t take that part back, though. It’s too late.”

He breathes for a moment, before forcing himself to relax and reopening his eyes, finally turning to once again meet your confused, concerned and rather surprised gaze. “You understand, don't you? The horrible things I said to you...none of it was really meant for you. It was meant for myself. The only way I could feel not worthless was if I had someone else to stand on, so my own trauma came out at you. Yet you still cared for me...I'll guess that was because you understood me better than I did. You...gave me awareness. And for that, I...want to thank you...though I probably don’t deserve to.”

These words are difficult for him to say, but you know he’s finally being honest.

Saeran breathes in deeply and then sighs slowly. He wets and parts his lips, as if to speak again, yet no more words find a voice from him. He then removes his gaze from your eyes to glance at your own lips for a long moment, then meeting your gaze again. You understand he was asking for permission. Your breath hitches and your lips part slightly. He waits. Your cheeks feel warm. Surprisingly, you don’t dislike the idea.

You return Saeran’s questioning glance after a moment with your own glance at his lips and shift your face closer to his. You both slowly lessen the distance between you as he rests a hand on the back of your head, ever so gently pulling you towards him. His lips find your lips and embrace in a deep yet gentle kiss. He closes his eyes. So do you.

You don’t count the seconds, but you’re sure it feels like you’re kissing for hours. Your face is burning. Both of you found each other with your hands and pulled each other closer, deeper, your bodies pressed together, though the kiss remained soft and slow. This is unlike his behavior before. There’s no aggression, no force, no mania. Where before his grasp was violent and dominating, now his touch is soft and gentle as your lips slow-dance together, while he caresses your cheek, your shoulder, your side, your back.

When you finally break apart, you’re the first one to open your eyes. He lingers over the feeling a moment longer before returning to reality. He breathes deeply for a moment before pulling you to his chest, cradling your head against his neck.

“I love you just as much as Ray.”


End file.
